Debbie Rowe, MJ Fans Share Grief at Forest Lawn

Today marked the six-month anniversary of Michael Jackson's entombment in the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Glendale.

As they do every third day of each month, the Michael Jackson Fans of Southern California on Facebook spent the afternoon gathering together for support and strength, and delivering tributes sent from fans around the world to the Holly Terrace doorstep. Each month the numbers grow. This afternoon, upwards of 50 people showed, myself included.

MJFSC weren't the only ones thinking of Michael today and feeling the need to release some grief, to find the type of solace that only visiting the cemetery can offer.

Debbie Rowe, Michael's wife from 1996-1999, and mother of his two oldest children, Prince and Paris, arrived with a friend about 3:40 p.m. She drove 90 minutes from her Palmdale home, and then drove a bit longer, circling past the fan gathering four times, unsure if she should approach.

Update/clarification 3/5/2010: We did not know she was going to show up, it was not prearranged. We were all slack-jawed when she pulled up to the curb. Likewise, she did not know who we were or about our regular monthly gathering.

"I was afraid you would hate me," she confessed to the group as she made her way into the sea of Jackson supporters, tears streaming down her emotion-filled face. Not a dry eye among us, either.

She was met, instead, with love. "L.O.V.E." as Michael would say.

Much has been written about Debbie (including breaking news today) and to her in the form of hate mail. What I learned today is that what most observers and media think they know about someone in the spotlight is diddly-squat. Author Harper Lee encapsulated it best, through words she assigned to Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird:

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view -- until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

I didn't walk around in Debbie's skin today, but I looked into her eyes and, like most everyone else there did, hugged her -- twice. I felt her body rattle from sobs as she hugged back. Her grief and sorrow moved through me like a knife into my own heart. I also felt an overall sense of momentary relief that comes from the give and take of understanding and compassion between human beings.

She spent about an hour with us, small talk mostly, and we gave her space to peruse the many gifts laid out on the terrace patio, all of which she said touched her very much. One item moved her deeply, a photo creation. It was given to her, with the original overseas mail packaging, by proxy from the group on behalf of the sender, which she accepted once she was convinced that the fan who made and sent it would be glad.

Several times Debbie said that she hoped she wasn't intruding on the gathering, when in fact most people there were at a loss for words at how much the opportunity to share their feelings with her helped them.

This was not her first visit to Forest Lawn she told us, but it was the first time she had been there when fans were present. Having not been invited to Michael's funeral, understandably, personal time at his resting place has helped to fill the void of that experience in some way.  Cemeteries are for the living, as FLG's founder Dr. Hubert Eaton, proclaimed decades ago. That philosophy held true today.

Michael and Debbie during happier times.

Before she left, Debbie was presented with a Justice 4 MJ t-shirt, which are literally hot off the presses. Members of the MJFSC, who are mounting several justice-oriented campaigns, are selling the shirts as a fundraiser that will also provide a unified visual when everyone wears them at Dr. Conrad Murray's next court appearance in April.

For more information about their calls to action and the shirts, visit their newly launched website at Justice4MJ.com.

A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the shirts will also benefit AIDS Project Los Angeles, an organization that Michael cared about and supported during his lifetime.

"Justice 4 MJ" logo designer Amy with MJFSC Officers Karlene and Erin

Photos are © Lisa Burks, watermarked specifically to preserve the integrity of what happened at Forest Lawn today. Permission to post elsewhere as 'exclusive' is expressly denied, as is redistribution without a link back to this original post. Please and thank you for helping to keep it real.

Comments

[Harry Martin]

Wonderful, wonderful post!

[ChargerBill]

Thanks Lisa for showing a side of Debbie that none of us get from "mainstream" media. Well done, as always, and keep on keeping on :)

[Carmen]

Thank you so much for shearing this with us .
Michael chose Debbie to be the mother of his children - we will never forget this ...
I guess it so hard for her also , she needed some support from us- the fans .
Thank u all for your dignity& open mind .

[NFMJ]

Love your words, Lisa!

Can't believe it, Debbie Rowe...
I am in awe of her.

Thank you, Lisa.

[Mabel Lan]

Dear Lisa:
Thank you very much for sharing this. I love your words and your photos. I am deeply touched as reading. You guys are extremely amazing.

I am a fan from Taiwan. We have so many MJ fans in Taiwan. And we gather together often to study his words, watch his performance and mourning together for the loss too.
Can I have your permission to use this photos and to translate this article to Chinese and post it to my blog so the MJ fans in Taiwan can understand.

My blog: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/hanafingers

It is a Chinese blogsite; and probably you will have some difficulties when accessing it.

My friend and myself travelled to Forest Lawn last Christmas Eve and Neverland on Christmas. It was an overwhelming experience in my life that I never forget forever.

Thanks again for this wonderful post.

Love MJ and love you all.

- Fingers

[aso]

Thank you for posting this. I never understood people judging Debbie - it was always clear to me she loved Michael. I wish she had been able to stay closer to the children.

But couldn't she go inside? Did she have to stay at the entrance?

[Kim, Queen of the OC]

Beautiful Lisa as always. What a day you had. I always knew they gave her such a hard time, but she really did love him. Thanks for this Lisa.

[black crow]

Thank you Lisa! Thanks for the words, pictures and your sincerity!
Greetings from Germany

Rest in Love and Peace Michael Jackson

[Steve G]

Wow. Simply excellent, Lisa. What a great piece!! You rock, as always!

[CaliMJFan]

Lisa,

Just to let you know-- one or more of your pictures are up on this thread on TMZ.com

http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/debbie_breakdown#tab=most_recent&id=64773