Grave hunting requires a certain amount of emotional detachment, least you absorb the residual tears left in any cemetery you explore. The end of the year holiday season is the exception to the rule for me, a time, oddly enough, when sentiment runs deepest.
At no other time of year will you see the volume and variety of decorations and tokens of love on graves as you do in December. Theraputic expressions of grief and remembrance of the dead sparkle and shine in the face of sadness. Appreciation for the past, acknowledgment for what is lost in the present and a hope toward future healing.
Six months ago the death of Michael Jackson and 70 days of heavy media coverage leading up to his burial caused a sensational, seismic shift in the world's attention to the business of death, grief and cemeteries. The news crews are gone now, yet based on my observations of holiday cemetery activity in general, I believe that continuing to cover his story here at Christmas time has value. There is something to be learned from his fans about the grief process and how it relates to cemeteries.
On December 3, a dozen MJ fans gathered at the Holly Terrace of the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Glendale to remember their idol. They have designated the third of each month as their regular visitation day because it coincides with his September 3 funeral and entombment there. I've spent a lot of time in cemeteries but never with fans on a pilgrimage, so joining them on their sojourn last week was a first for me. I was immensely touched by what I experienced, and it drove home for me the reason why cemeteries are for the living.
The fans brought with them not only their own flowers and Christmas decorations, but also dozens of holiday mementos of love (many handmade) from 90 other fans. Over 100 items in all, sent from across the United States as well as Europe, Great Britain and the UK, Hungary, Jordan, Egypt, the Philippines and Malaysia. Among the packages were cards, small gifts, and ornaments which were placed on a white Christmas tree.
What's remarkable is that the holiday memorial drive was initiated on Facebook by fan Erin Jacobs just one week prior to the date of delivery to Forest Lawn. Additional envelopes and packages earmarked for future delivery continue to flow in to the post office box donated by fan Antoinette Albert.
Judy Faass, a MJ fan from Colorado, sent a card, and gave me insight as to what her participation in the event meant to her:
An element missing from the groups' holiday decorating experience, one that most people are afforded under normal circumstances, was being able to personally place the items at Michael's sarcophagus because it is private and off limits to the public. Per Forest Lawn, currently no one is allowed to visit him unless accompanied by a Jackson family member.
The items were delivered however, thanks to Forest Lawn security personnel who took each and every token inside Holly Terrace while we were there, and put them at the Ascension Windows alcove where Michael was entombed. We were able to catch glimpses of the area at the end of the hall when the door was opened.
The experience of seeing the grave of someone you care about is difficult for many people, but is an essential part of the grief and healing process, I believe. It's a fundamental part of acceptance of loss, the reality check needed to move forward. This is why, after much thought, I opted to include in this report visuals of his sarcophagus captured that day with still and video cameras, taken from outside the building through the doors.
At no other time of year will you see the volume and variety of decorations and tokens of love on graves as you do in December. Theraputic expressions of grief and remembrance of the dead sparkle and shine in the face of sadness. Appreciation for the past, acknowledgment for what is lost in the present and a hope toward future healing.
Six months ago the death of Michael Jackson and 70 days of heavy media coverage leading up to his burial caused a sensational, seismic shift in the world's attention to the business of death, grief and cemeteries. The news crews are gone now, yet based on my observations of holiday cemetery activity in general, I believe that continuing to cover his story here at Christmas time has value. There is something to be learned from his fans about the grief process and how it relates to cemeteries.
On December 3, a dozen MJ fans gathered at the Holly Terrace of the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Glendale to remember their idol. They have designated the third of each month as their regular visitation day because it coincides with his September 3 funeral and entombment there. I've spent a lot of time in cemeteries but never with fans on a pilgrimage, so joining them on their sojourn last week was a first for me. I was immensely touched by what I experienced, and it drove home for me the reason why cemeteries are for the living.
The fans brought with them not only their own flowers and Christmas decorations, but also dozens of holiday mementos of love (many handmade) from 90 other fans. Over 100 items in all, sent from across the United States as well as Europe, Great Britain and the UK, Hungary, Jordan, Egypt, the Philippines and Malaysia. Among the packages were cards, small gifts, and ornaments which were placed on a white Christmas tree.
What's remarkable is that the holiday memorial drive was initiated on Facebook by fan Erin Jacobs just one week prior to the date of delivery to Forest Lawn. Additional envelopes and packages earmarked for future delivery continue to flow in to the post office box donated by fan Antoinette Albert.
Judy Faass, a MJ fan from Colorado, sent a card, and gave me insight as to what her participation in the event meant to her:
I'm forever grateful to the ladies that made that happen! I live in Colorado and it will be awhile before I can get to FL to visit with Michael. I was pleased to be given the opportunity to share in the remembrance and celebration on Dec 3. I feel his loss on a daily basis and grieving his loss has been very difficult. I lost my mom in 2006 and I think the MJ situation brings up memories of her as well. Makes it much more difficult. Knowing that my card made it to MJ's Resting Place brings more tears, but a small sense of closure as well.
Since I can't possibly cover every card and gift with this post, I'm hoping that anyone who sent something in reads this story and shares their thoughts and feelings in the comments area at the bottom of this page.
An element missing from the groups' holiday decorating experience, one that most people are afforded under normal circumstances, was being able to personally place the items at Michael's sarcophagus because it is private and off limits to the public. Per Forest Lawn, currently no one is allowed to visit him unless accompanied by a Jackson family member.
The items were delivered however, thanks to Forest Lawn security personnel who took each and every token inside Holly Terrace while we were there, and put them at the Ascension Windows alcove where Michael was entombed. We were able to catch glimpses of the area at the end of the hall when the door was opened.
The experience of seeing the grave of someone you care about is difficult for many people, but is an essential part of the grief and healing process, I believe. It's a fundamental part of acceptance of loss, the reality check needed to move forward. This is why, after much thought, I opted to include in this report visuals of his sarcophagus captured that day with still and video cameras, taken from outside the building through the doors.
The world may be getting a better view of it soon enough anyway. Word has it that Michael's brothers were there last week with a camera crew and director. But for now, this is my contribution to satisfying public curiosity and hopefully providing a measure of comfort for those who need to see such images.
My photos from the day are viewable at Flickr.com.
As a writer, I hate to admit to not being able to find adequate words to convey what I have witnessed and felt, so thank goodness for YouTube. Here is my interpretation of the day's events and the lovely fans I spent time with. I chose MJ's song "You Are Not Alone" because I think it speaks to their reasons for visiting Forest Lawn each month, especially this first Christmas, as well as how MJ fans feel about each other.Thank you Michael Jackson Fans of Southern California for including me in your holiday gathering. And special thanks to my friend, Joe Acuña, for lending me his video camera so I could capture the moments.
Update 12/16/2009: Members of the MJFSC make regular visits to Forest Lawn and are happy to deliver cards and letters from fans around the world when they go. The PO Box to send your mail to is: MJ Mail, 2470 Stearns Street #202, Simi Valley, California 93063, U.S.A.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to MJ fans and grave hunters alike.
Lisa,
This is a beautifully written story about our Christmas with Michael - as the Administrator of the 'Michael Jackson Fans of Southern California' group, I am so very touched and honored to include in our group and to call you a friend - we are so grateful for your words, photos, videos, and most of all, your friendship. Thank you so much for all you've done.... L.O.V.E., Heidi
Posted by: H Heidel | Dec 06, 2009 at 20:17
Lisa, thank you for this. And MJ Fans of SoCal: you are the best. I'm so relieved to know you brought Christmas to Michael. I would have loved to be with you. Thank you for your kindness. Love to you all.
Posted by: Mary K, Las Vegas | Dec 06, 2009 at 20:46
Wonderful Story! You are a wondefully talented AND inspiring women. Thank You for documenting such a day in my life. We all thank YOU!
<3 Antoinette A
Posted by: Antoinette | Dec 06, 2009 at 20:59
What a WONDERFUL tribute to MJ by his fans. What wonderful people MJ has for fans in S. Ca. Very cool, very VERY Cool. Wish I were there!
Still can't believe he is gone, but thank goodness for those who keep his spirit alive!
Happy Holidays everyone!
Blessings to the MJ fans.
Posted by: Cheryl | Dec 06, 2009 at 21:15
Beautiful video. Thanks for sharing, Lisa. What a special moment.
Happy Holidays!
Posted by: Ann | Dec 06, 2009 at 23:10
We understand your love and devotion, but Michael was a Jehovah's Witness and they don't celebrate Christmas...
Posted by: CEC | Dec 06, 2009 at 23:19
So beautiful! Michael loves Christmas time very much!
No, he is not alone!
Thank you for the post, from Portugal.
Posted by: clarinda | Dec 07, 2009 at 08:23
We all think of you,not only at this Holiday Season,but the part you played in so many lives.Gods care and blessings to your family.You are not Alone.
Posted by: Mark L.Thompson | Dec 07, 2009 at 09:43
Ann, Michael's favorite time f year was Christmas. He did celebrate it with his children...I am sure he was watching down with a big smile on his face!
Posted by: Lisa | Dec 07, 2009 at 12:48
Thank you so much Lisa for sharing this and giving me the opportunity to "bee there"... Thank you so much for that little peek inside of Michael's resting place, it is so beautiful there and for most of all peaceful. I think of him every day, i love him so dearly. And it hurts so much...I can`t stop crying, because he had to be taken form os to get hes peace.
I will newer get over him.
Hugs and kisses from Norway
Posted by: Edina | Dec 07, 2009 at 15:33